Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Does salt do that?

Nathaniel said, "This tastes good and salty."

Dahlia piped up right away and said, "And salt make me burp."

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Ask. Listen. Hit.

“Do not hit people with that! Especially if you don’t ask first!” - Anthony lecturing Dahlia on the etiquette of hitting people with stuff.

Spicy Protein

As Dahlia was eating an egg this morning she said, “It has some protein on it. I can taste it. It’s pretty spicy for me.”

Clarity about colors, please.

Nathaniel said:

“What’s the closest color to clear? White?”

Not like a clown fish

Dahlia told Mindy the other day that, “When she (Mindy) grows up she will be a man!”

Sick is relative

I was making peanut butter sandwiches and about to spread one for Nathaniel when Anthony blurted out, “There is mold on that bread!”

I looked and sure enough it was starting to get moldy on the back of the slice. “Thanks for noticing that, bud. Joey could have gotten really sick,” I said.

“He is sick.” Anthony responded. (He had a sniffly nose.)

Future Farmers of America

(The kids telling mindy of their farming experiences.)

Anthony: We used to have a lot …

Nathaniel: The cows ate it all.

Anthony: We used to have a lot but it got taken away by a flood. We had a flood.

Anthony: Dahlia, have you fed the cows yet?

Dahlia: I having a picnic.

Anthony: Dahlia, left me show you what to do …

Anthony: Ready to harvest the sweet patatoe (singular) guys?

Anthony: We forgot to feed the hens! We always feed them last.

Nathaniel (to mindy): He was feeding the horses their hay bale, and he forgot to lock it, so the pony got out and ran into the kitties cage! (HUH!)

Anthony: That was last year.

Anthony: We have 4 bulls, 4 cows, and 1 calf.

Nathaniel: The calf is 12 months old.

Anthony: No! 11 months.

More Mouse Abuse

Nathaniel and I were working in the basement painting the newly finished basement walls. I was working next to him and we had this conversation, just out of the blue:

Nathaniel: The story of three blind mice, kind of makes sense.

Me: (Wondering where this is headed) Uh huh.

Nathaniel: It kind of makes sense. It says the farmer’s wife cuts off their tails. (slight pause) I can see why you would want to do that.

Me: Why do you think so?

Nathaniel: Uh, umm … I don’t know. It kind of makes sense.

Then after Anthony and Grandfather got involved, they discovered much more depth and meaning to the old nursery rhyme.

Daddy Warbucks

Mindy was looking for some songs on iTunes today and after playing a preview of one of the songs Dahlia and I had the following conversation:

Dahlia: I want that one.

Me: Do you have any money to buy it with?

Dahlia: Yes.

Me: Oh yeah, where is your money?

Dahlia: In your pocket.

The boys and I just laughed and thought that the was the best joke of the day.

I need to take the boys sledding

I just stopped Nathaniel from trying to sled down the stairs in a laundry basket. Anthony was saying, “I think you’d flip over.” Nathaniel said, “No I won’t…”

The ugly duckling

There is a huge swan sculpture in town that was created out of trash people had thrown into the river. Anthony remarked on the ugly thing by saying, “I think the people who made the bird are sillier than the people who threw trash in the river.”

Well put.

Pesto Explosion

Can pesto, when it gets really warm, can it kind of explode? Can it kind of disintegrate?

- Anthony Donovan

Twice eaten cheerios

We were eating breakfast this morning and Dahlia said to Mindy (holding a soggy cheerio), “Eat, Mommy”.

Mindy responded, “Yes, honey, you can eat that.”

To which Dahlia replied, “Already eat.”

Mindy then said, “Well, go ahead and eat it again.” Which Dahlia did and continued on, happy as a clam.

Its easy, even for men!

We stopped at Wendy’s for dinner on Saturday and had a swell time. After eating I took the boys to the restroom before heading out to the driving range for some golf. It was a small bathroom with a urinal that went all the way to the floor. Anthony remarked on it and said, “These kind of urinals are easy to use for everybody.” Nathaniel agreed and said, “Even for men.”

You can’t do that when you’re dead

Mindy and boys were just talking about Beaver Creek Reserve and the owls they have there. That led to what they feed them (mice), that led to how people can trap mice, put them in a baggy, freeze them, and then donate them to the reserve.
Then Nathaniel said, “If someone found a mouse and it was alive, they could just pop it into a baggy, put it in the microwave, bam, it’s dead!”
He was so serious when he said it, but Mindy couldn’t help chuckling in front of him. Picture what a live mouse in a baggy in the microwave would end up looking like… yikes. I’m still laughing…

Anyone for Jimmy John’s?

My three kids have the puke flu. It started with the five year old, Anthony, and he threw up about six times over the course of a day. Then Nathaniel got it on Saturday afternoon and he has been throwing up regularly since then, at least 15 times. Dahlia got it last night and has caught up to Nathaniel’s barf totals.

So, we have been having quite a time of it. This afternoon we ordered subs to the house and Nathaniel got his appetite back, so I thought he might be over the puking stage. Plus, he hadn’t thrown up for about six hours. About an hour after subs, Nathaniel started to whimper and I knew something was coming so I grabbed the bowl and held it under his face and prepared for the worst.

Well, it was a big chunky one and it was not very pleasant. The whole family was there in the living room watching and after the deed was done, I said, “There’s the sub you ate.” Right away Anthony commented, “I’m getting hungry, I’m going to have the rest of my sub.” Then he ran off to the kitchen.
I just couldn’t believe my ears and looking at the bowl of mush I was holding made me laugh. What a crazy weekend.

Anywhere from $100 to $500

How much is that iPod in the window? How much is that iPod in the Window? I do hope that iPod is for sale.

Nathaniel began singing this to the tune of “How much is that doggy in the window?” right before bed last tonight. Where does he come up with these ideas of his anyway?

Say that again?

My mouth isn’t coming out what my words think my mind says.

-Mindy’s sister Jody

Brother, I wasn’t born yestderday

Here is conversation that occurred between the boys the other day: Anth(5) Nathaniel(3)

Nathaniel: We made a house and a car out of playdough.
Anthony: No we didn’t.
Nathaniel: We made a house and a car out of playdough - I remember.
Anthony: I don’t remember that.
Nathaniel: That’s because you weren’t born yet. You weren’t born yet and we made a house and a car out of playdough.
Anthony: Joey, I was born before you.
Nathaniel: Oh.

Air Pressure

Here is a question from Anthony (5 years old).

“If our house had too much air in it, could we breathe still?
I think it would be hard to breathe under pressurized conditions but I don’t really know.

Have enough kids to last

Joey and Anthony got talking about having more kids in the family. I asked them why they wanted to have more kids.

Joey responded with : “So we have enough to last us” and Anthony said, “I want more kids so we can play football.”

Cell phone diss

Scene:

The boys were riding their bikes outside and Mindy was pushing Dahlia in her little green car. They all stopped at a place near each other.

Mindy: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrring …. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

Joey: (Silent)

Anthony: Who are you calling?

Mindy: I’m calling Joey. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrring …. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

Joey: (Silent)

Anthony: Why are you calling him?

Mindy: I’m calling Joey’s phone to see if he wants to meet us at the restaurant. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrring …. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

Joey: (Silent)

Anthony: Joey’s not at home.

Mindy: I’m calling his cell phone. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrring …. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

Joey: (Silent)

Anthony: I think he left his cell phone at home.

Mindy: Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrring …. Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring!

Joey (to Anthony): No I didn’t.

Ouch.

Deep Thoughts by Joey

Mommy, does water melt?

Mommy, what does peanut butter turn into when you put peanut butter into milk?

Police Officer Patrick

Mindy, the kids, and I were playing “siren” the other day. It involved cars, ambulances, policemen, etc. Mindy would pretend to be speeding and the police officer would catch her and give her a ticket. I got a ticket for stealing the policeman’s motorcycle. Here is one conversation that was funny.

Mindy: Oh! I got in an accident, call the ambulance!

Anthony: OK. I’ll have to give you a ticket for speeding. The speed limit is 40 in town.

Mindy: OOOh, Ow. My arm is broken. Do I still have to have a ticket. It is hurt pretty bad.

Me (To Anthony): Don’t fall for that one officer, give her the ticket!

Anthony: OK. I guess I’ll have to give you a ticket for your other arm.

Cross Foyer Skiing

Mindy sees Joey pull a couple kleenexes out of the box and put them on the floor. Then Joey calls out to Anthony, “Here’s your skis.”

Joey put them on the wood floor and that was how to ski. Just slide around.

Dahlia was demoted

Dahlia got demoted the other day.

She started out as Farmer Jones’ wife in the morning. Things were going great.
Then she took a nap on the job.
When she woke up, she was relegated to playing the role of Bowser the Hound. The Cheerios we fed her were her “dog food,” Anthony informed me.

Kind of like morse code

So the other day Mindy hears Anthony make a VERY high-pitched and LOUD sound.
He then asked her, “Did you hear that?”
She said, “Yes.”
He said, “That’s our signal to each other (he and Joey).”

No socks, no shoes, not a bird?

Mindy: Who took Dahlia’s socks off?
Joey: Me. It was me. She was pretending she was a bird so I took her socks off.

Hey Joe, do you need to breathe very much?

Anthony and Joey had all the pillows and blankets from their beds on the floor in a big pile. Joey was sandwiched in the middle and Anthony was covering up his face with a pillow. I stopped that right away and explained to him the dangers of putting pillows over his brother’s face, namely that Joey needs to breathe.

About 10 minutes later as I was getting ready to leave for work, Anthony says to me, “Joey doesn’t need to breathe a lot.” That triggered another heart to heart talk with the elder sibling about how his brother does need to breathe a lot and everyone needs to breathe all the time.

Get a new baby, Dad

Joey said to me this morning, “When Dahlia grows up, we can get a new baby!”

Goody goody gumdrops

Joey says, while eating Raisin Bran, “I wonder why raisins are chewy. Maybe they have gum inside them.”

Here’s a conversation Mindy overheard the other day.
Anthony: …and you are not it.
Joey: I didn’t want to be “not it.”
Anthony: But you are not it.
Joey: But… I changed into it!
Anthony: Goody goody gumdrops in a dish. How many pieces do you wish?”
Joey: Does that mean I’m it?

Best meal never

Mommy, this is the best meal I never had! - Joey

Rhinos and potatoes

A conversation between Anthony and Mindy the other morning:

A: Mom, you could put sliced potatoes in your cereal.
M: Why would I want to do that?
A: ‘Cause that’s what the picture on the box shows.
M: Oh! I think those are peaches, actually!

Here’s what Joey said to Mindy yesterday morning, I have no idea where he was coming from with this one:
“Rhinoceroses can put their horn in your hair.”

The Daily Funny

Anthony said to Mindy yesterday, “Isn’t Joey a funny boy? He opens up his funniness every day, doesn’t he?”

Banana bread problem

Anthony said to me this morning, “Dad, Joey doesn’t like banana bread because he has a problem. If you have a problem, you don’t like banana bread. If you don’t have a problem, then you like it.”

Squirrelly boy

Anthony said today, “If you think you’re holding still and you’re not, you’re wrong. Like squirrels are sometimes.”

You scratch my foot …

Anthony said to Mindy yesterday, out of the blue, “If some part of my body feels funny, I just itch it. Except my foot. If my foot feels funny I have to lick my finger and then itch it. If I didn’t lick my finger then itch it, it would just wrinkle up like when I’m in the bathtub - that’s why I have to lick my finger, then scratch it.”

Story from Mindy

Joey said yesterday that he saw a locust playing with a bunny in the river water.

We talked about the difference between pretending we saw something and really seeing it. I said, “That’s a fun thing to pretend you saw, isn’t it?” He smiled and said, “Yeah.”

Baby steps, untie your knots.

Another great conversation between Mindy and Anthony (Age 4).

Mindy: Someone tied knots in this.
Anthony: Me - it was me.
Mindy: I don’t think that was a very good idea.
Anthony: I don’t think it was, either. But it was fun.
Mindy: Well, if you tie knots in things you should untie them.
Anthony: But I don’t know how to untie knots.

Christmas quotes from the boys

Lately they have been playing “Tim and Kristen” since we just recently went to vegas for their wedding.

Anthony: Are you Kristen?
Joey: No - I’m Tim.
Anthony: Are we married yet?
Joey: No
Anthony: We’re having fun fishing.
Joey: We’re getting married today.
A little while later they went to see some sharks on their honeymoon.

Here is a nice christmas quote:
Joey: My boots smell like chocolate.

Bar at the bowling alley?

Mindy told me a story about Anthony that was really funny. It went like this:

Anthony has been bowling this morning.

He said, “Do the restaurants that they have at the places where they have bowling - do they have drinks for if the bowlers get thirsty while they’re bowling?”

I said, “Yes, they certainly do.”

“Then I’m thirsty for some milk,” he said.

Anthonyism

“Mommy, do baseball players take off their shoes when they get home?”

Old Anthony quotes long forgotten

* “What is an egg like?”

* “What is a building?”

* “What is the last number?”

* “Construction workers are good?”

* “Stars are mammals?”

* “Daddy said pork chops make everybody sick.”

* “Joey - you lizard. Go away lizard.”

* “Joey is a mascot”

* “Mascots eat?”

* Conversations with his mom:

“This is a sharpener?”
Mom: Yes
“It doesn’t sharpen my hand?”
Mom: No
“It just sharpens knives?”
Mom: Yes

“Mommy, there is an animal in my nose.”
Mom: Do you want a kleenex?
“No, I got it out with my finger.”

Mothers are invaluable

Anthony has a friend name Rebecca that comes over to play once in a while. She lives on a dairy farm and the other day she lent him her toy combine to play with for a while. Anthony loves the combine and “harvests” corn and wheat all day long.

The other day he was needing some direction so he asked Mindy, “What should I harvest now?” Mindy replied, “How about some corn?”, at which Anthony got really excited and started working.

He later paused and asked Mindy, “Do real combine drivers do that?”

“Do what, sweetheart?”

“Ask their mothers?” he said.

Mindy laughed as she told me this story and I thought that maybe some farmers to ask their mothers what to harvest next.

Anthony on marriage

Me: Have you ever been to a wedding before?

Ant: Ya, Tami’s!!

Me: Are you going to get married some day?

Ant: Yaa

Me: Who are you going to marry?

Ant: You! … And Joey.

Me: Oh. Well you can’t marry us because we are your family and we are boys. When you get married you will have to marry a girl. You probably don’t even know who she is yet.

Ant: What should we name her?

Me: … umm, You could call her darling.

Wrestle Mania

Anthony and Joey decided to do the classic kid thing tonight and jump on my stomach. I remember when it was really fun to jump on uncle Kenny’s stomach. Bouncing up and down on Daddy’s tummy got them laughing and giggling pretty good.

While I was playing foosball, Joey was just standing at the window watching the neighbors play with their dogs. Very content little guy.